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Book Review: Convincing Leopold

It’s hard to believe that I read my first Ava March book a little over a year ago. Since then I’ve read almost everything else she’s written, including this ARC of the re-release of Convincing Leopold.

Convincing Leopold is the sequel to Convincing Arthur. This is what I love about Ava – she writes the first book about her rakish and uptight men fighting their feelings for each other, a falling in love tale. In the second she shows us what happens after the happy ending. In this book that means challenging her characters to keep the promises they made when they initially got together.

I liked seeing their struggle – the real fears come to life that weren’t just manifestations of jealousy and paranoia. There is a real and present danger that this tenuous relationship may crumble when faced with the inherent incompatibility of the characters’ day to day life. I really enjoyed this book, more than the first one even. Plus it set up the third book in the series (which hasn’t been released yet) and I love a good tie in.

Read more about Ava and her Regency M/M Erotica here.

Stuff I’ve Done – The Outtakes

  • I have managed to spill coffee on myself, my couch, my afghan, or my floor every day for the past three months. I’m not even surprised anymore.
  • I finished my NaNoWriMo challenge with 2 days to spare! The last week was tough because what I thought was the midpoint was actually the climax and the whole book needs to be rewritten from that scene onward. So I wrote down how I want to do the rewrite then wrote some fun scenes with the characters. Like fan fic of my own fic. Now the whole thing is simmering until I decide to pick it up again.
  • I got over the half way hurdle with the line edits on my novel. Now that there’s some semblance of an end in sight, the editing is going far more smoothly. One for the win column.
  • The Christmas movie watching obsession has officially begun! I’ve been watching them for weeks already but it wasn’t official until December 1st. Some of these movies I’ve seen a dozen times and watching them is like meeting old friends. And not the ones you’d assume. Oh I watch the classics – It’s a Wonderful Life, White Christmas, Elf, Love Actually…but the ones that I most look forward to? The ABC Family Originals. Particularly the ones with the insane plot lines and actors who used to be singers (or models or child TV stars). My end goal here is to some day have a list of the 25 absolute best Christmas movies ever, all defended with brilliant examples and screen shots.
  • I make my bed every morning and tell myself that it’s basically the same thing as having a clean house.
  • Of course I’ve been reading A LOT. I have a stack of books to share and I hope to get caught up before the year is out. I started two new reading challenges for myself – my own personalized 100 Books to Read Before You Die list (all the classics I feel I might not hate) and a list of romance authors to read before the next RT convention. More on these later. Also look for my list of the top books I’ve read this year – that’ll be showing up sometime around December 31st.
  • And now I’ve got another book to plan because why have one book project going when you can have three?

Emotion Like A Destiny’s Child Song

Note: This is a post I wrote a few weeks ago. I won’t deny it’s validity by saying it reads like an angsty me teenager (though it does). I wrote it because I felt I could try to explain what was going on with me at the time. Now I’m posting it as a way of sharing where I’ve been these past few weeks. If the emotional stuff is too much for you, never fear, the comedy versions coming out later today.

Today I am sad and out of sorts. It has to do, in part, with these things:

  • Tomorrow my friend is going to put down her long-suffering dog. This is a dog I’ve known for years, who I used to live with, who I’ve pet sat for on many an occasion. I’m stopping by tonight to say goodbye but how do you begin to say goodbye?
  • People keep telling me there’s a song written about me. They’re thinking about “Cecilia” by Simon and Garfunkel. I know because people have been telling me that and singing to me most of my life. I am sad that they can’t read my name tag properly. I am sad that they’re trying so hard to connect but are going about it all wrong. I am sad because I don’t have the energy to correct them or care that they’re wrong. I respond to Cecelia. How sad is that? It’s not even my name.
  • I’ve been getting pretty sad and worked up about fictional characters lately. I love fictional characters, love them so much it hurts when the book is over or the character dies.

Mostly I am just sad. As in the depressed kind of sad. Sometimes I consider myself a high functioning depressed person. Sometimes I call it mild depression.

The drugs make it so I feel generally a little better. They also make it harder to cry. Like there are tears constantly building up behind my eyes but they won’t spill over, they just build and build until I am so upset I can’t help myself. Sometimes I wish I could cry more or better or whatever.

It’s this ache in my chest. It squeezes my heart, trying to squeeze out all the emotion. But the only emotion I have, the only one that is there, is sadness. It squeezes and I feel more sad and still no tears.

Living with depression is like that. There are good days and bad days, ups and downs like whoa. The middle ground is an illusion we don’t know about anymore.

A Whirlwind of Books (Wouldn’t that be cool!)

Since I’ve been in the process of moving the site for the past week or so, I haven’t had a chance to update you all on my latest literary conquests! So here they are:Unknown-1

Last week I read Wallbanger by Alice Clayton. If you like smut, especially funny smut, you really can’t get any better than Alice Clayton. I aspire to write smut this hilarious! Thank you, Alice Clayton for writing this book and then for writing four more in the series so I don’t have to say goodbye to your comedy genius just yet!
Of course, before I go on to read the rest of the series, I had to finish up some library books whose impending due dates and lack of renewal opportunities rushed them to the top of the list. One of thesUnknowne was You Are A Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero. It was transformative. Every time I read a passage I thought, that’s right, I am awesome, I can do this, I can be the best me I can be! Of course, as with most books, I’ve only retained about 30% of what I read. But that 30% is remarkably useful.

The section that really spoke to me was about money. I am someone who can get by on very little money. I am also someone who has lived my life up until now viewing money as the root of all evils. What Jen Sincero points out is that money isn’t an enemy or a friend, it isn’t anything really until we apply the emotional, cultural, and psychological aspects of our interactions with and surrounding it to the picture. Money is not the root of all evil. I don’t have to be afraid of making it or not making it. But I do need to accept that there is a certain amount of money that I need to  accomplish what I want (improving living situation, eating healthy, giving back, financing my writing, etc.). That amount is my goal. Not the bare minimum I can live on, not the money I’d make if I sold out my dreams, the amount I need to accomplish what I want to do. So I’m going to try out this new attitude and see what happens.

I am currently devouring Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari so look for that review coming up in a few days!

What It’s All About

In an effort to improve my blogging, particularly my posting consistency, I have signed up for Blogging University‘s class “Blogging 101.” First assignment? Post who I am and why I’m here. Since I’ve had this blog going for a bit, I hope my stalwart followers (Anna) know that this blog is about writing, books, and life. As for the why:

I started this blog as a place for me to share my writing successes, stagnations, and failures. I’d created this website for my author self but I needed a way to connect it with my day to day progress. Thus the blog.

I started it as a place to share what I’ve been reading since I love nothing more than to talk about books!

I started it as a place to write down all the weird dreams and experiences that happen to me, both as a writer and as a human being moving through life.

I’m here to tell stories and share my experiences. I’m here to comment on life and society and the process of growing up. Mostly I’m here to talk about books. Lots of lots of books.

The Things We Never Say

I am a big proponent of being open and honest with our words. I am all for free speech and authenticity and sharing. There are, however, certain things that aren’t said for a reason. They aren’t said because the only possible outcome will be to hurt another person. It’s not a good reaction/bad reaction situation. It’s just going to hurt.

What I’m talking about is asking a woman if she’s pregnant.

I was at an event just a few weeks ago wearing an outfit I didn’t feel comfortable in. I wanted to look professional but hadn’t had time to change so I was worried about how my shirt was a little too short and my pants kept falling down a tad. I wasn’t relaxed. Another person, a person I had to be courteous and attentive to because it was my job to be, came up to me and asked me if I was having a baby.

I immediately felt shamed. My face turned red, I hunched over, I wanted to run away. “No,” I said quickly. I was turning my class ring, the one I always wear on my right hand, because I’d read a story about a woman who turns her ring three times before answering, as a way of thinking instead of reacting. The woman asked me if I was married. I said no again, still furiously turning my ring. She persisted, asking me if I was looking for a husband. At this point I wanted to punch her. Instead I said not really and turned my back, effectively closing off the conversation. What else could I do? I couldn’t pull her aside and tell her she was insulting me or tell her to shut up and leave me alone. She was a VIP for the event! All I could do was busy myself with something else and hope she left me alone.

I will probably never see that woman again. I will probably never have the chance to tell her she hurt me. All I can do is share the experience, write about it, and let it go. There are some things we never say because they are shaming and insulting. I’ve shared the one that affects me on a not infrequent basis because of the way I look.

Next time you see a woman with a belly, please remember that it might just be a food baby and keep your mouth shut.

RT Top Ten

Top Ten RT Booklovers Convention Moments (in no particular order)

1. Making a new friend on the shuttle from the airport. This then led to making many more new friends. By Wednesday we’d formed a posse. By Friday we made plans to all come back next year!

2. On Saturday I was walking through the bar when I happened upon Tamora Pierce, sitting alone and reading. I was all ready to keep going but my friend stopped me and persuaded me to ask for a photo with her. I am so glad I did. She told me about her process writing Alanna and her early days of trying to get published.

3. As I sat in the bar on Friday night, wearing my Princess Diaries tiara, I saw Meg Cabot. She noticed me too, called me a princess, and gave me a royal, princess wave.

4. Erica O’Rourke, a published author I met at the RWA Chicago North Spring Fling conference last year, offered to help me reach my goal of pitching a finished manuscript at next year’s conference. She said she’d be running registration the first night and would ask to see my book.

5. In one of the panels, an author made a careless comment that was potentially insulting to many of the audience members. Cherry Adair called her out on it and masterfully defended not only her own writing but that of all the writers everywhere.

6. Many of the panels surprised me by how good they were. In particular, the panel on writing LGBTQ characters and the BDSM panel blew me away. I heard from authors who were passionate and knowledgeable about their genre and their craft.

7. Heather Graham’s supernatural western party was fun, campy, and highly entertaining. I especially loved it when a little girl in a tutu and rain boots won the costume contest.

8. The comedy panel was everything I wanted and more. If I can write anything even half as funny as the women on that panel, I’ll be doing well. Any of their books I haven’t read yet are shooting to the top of my TBR list.

9. Being the crafty gal I am, I couldn’t resist making fascinators with Eloisa James. It was a delightful hour filled with ribbons, glitter, fake flowers, tulle, and historical romance authors!

10. I spent another spectacular hour with my favorite bloggers, the women from Smart Bitches, Trashy Books, knitting and talking about Outlander. A knitting book chat with my favorite snarky bloggers? It honestly doesn’t get better than that.

5 Reasons I Almost Stopped Writing This Blog

Let’s face it, once the blog is up and running and you’ve spent a few giddy hours playing with font and rearranging photos, the excitement of the whole thing wears off and you’re faced with the prospect of now actually running a blog.  Thus this list:

5 Reasons I Almost Stopped Writing This Blog

1. I got bogged down trying to come up with post ideas that would be fun to write but that I wouldn’t mind my grandma reading.  Trying not to offend anyone, particularly dear grandma, is a fast track to writer’s block, the graveyard of the one-post blog.  To combat this I am giving myself permission to go all in and write what I want without apology.

2. Then I started going off on how, with so many zillions of blogs are out there, no one will want to read mine. Well this blog isn’t really about you, it’s about me.  I am writing it because I want to so who cares if no one reads it?  Eventually, of course, I would like some reader feedback but for now, I write for me and me alone.

3. Never think too closely about just who can read what you put online.  Or how many people can see what you write!  It takes a lot of courage and lady-balls to post real, honest content online for all to see.  This thought tornado is yet another path to crushing writer’s block and is being stamped out immediately.

4. What if I don’t have enough to say?  It is the paradox wherein I have all these things floating around in my head all day but, when I actually go down to write them, poof, they vanish.  This is not a new concept and there are number blog entries, articles, and books written on how to deal with this phenomenon.  Therefore, not a good reason not to write my blog.

5. Finally, time.  Thou fickle hearted mistress.  Time that seems to stretch on forever at breakfast but then has all but disappeared just after lunch.  Who has time to write a blog?  I have no comeback to this reason – it has been the cause of failure for all my other blogging attempts.  So I will post Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday when I remember and won’t when I forget!