life goals

Off Roading For A Few Days

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For the past few days I have been on a therapist prescribed Staycation. In my last session I told my therapist I was feeling anxious and exhausted after the holidays. Every time one of my friends or family asked me to do something (fun things, things I’d normally enjoy), I’d get a wave of anxiety and a gut feeling that I needed to say no. My therapist reminded me that after periods of intense energy outpour, such as the holidays, I needed to recharge. Being an introvert, that meant I needed time alone. So she wrote me a prescription for at least two days off from social interaction of any kind.

There were some guidelines for this Staycation:

  1. I would practice suspension of judgement.
  2. I would practice mindfulness.
  3. I would do most to all of my twenty coping skills (everything from drink lots of water to exercise to deep breathing).
  4. I would not talk to anyone.

I told my family and some of my friends I was unavailable for two days, buried my phone in the laundry basket, took the clock off the wall, and practiced calming my frazzled nervous system.

The first day I had a few moments of panic. I’d remember approaching deadlines and calls I had to return and events I had to attend. I got into a real panic over the Christmas cards I hadn’t sent out (who ever gets those out on time anyway?).

The second day I settled into it. Last night I decided to extend my Staycation two more days because I could. Because it was helping, a lot.

What I’ve Taken Away:

  • I love yoga. It’s yoga classes I can’t handle.
  • Life can be fun, adventurous, meaningful, and whimsical. It’s not all struggle and strife.
  • Mindfulness is hard. I find it easier to be mindful when I’m physically doing something – cleaning, walking, painting.
  • I am really addicted to my phone and I don’t want to be.
  • The present moment, without the past or future to cloud it, is kind of amazing.

I encourage everyone to try this, even if only for a few hours or a day. Do things that feed your body, mind, and spirit. Things that recharge you and heal you. This staycation didn’t cost me anything extra. I actually got more done than I normally would and I felt better doing it. My personal goal is to do thing every few months.

Stuff I’ve Done – The Outtakes

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  • I have managed to spill coffee on myself, my couch, my afghan, or my floor every day for the past three months. I’m not even surprised anymore.
  • I finished my NaNoWriMo challenge with 2 days to spare! The last week was tough because what I thought was the midpoint was actually the climax and the whole book needs to be rewritten from that scene onward. So I wrote down how I want to do the rewrite then wrote some fun scenes with the characters. Like fan fic of my own fic. Now the whole thing is simmering until I decide to pick it up again.
  • I got over the half way hurdle with the line edits on my novel. Now that there’s some semblance of an end in sight, the editing is going far more smoothly. One for the win column.
  • The Christmas movie watching obsession has officially begun! I’ve been watching them for weeks already but it wasn’t official until December 1st. Some of these movies I’ve seen a dozen times and watching them is like meeting old friends. And not the ones you’d assume. Oh I watch the classics – It’s a Wonderful Life, White Christmas, Elf, Love Actually…but the ones that I most look forward to? The ABC Family Originals. Particularly the ones with the insane plot lines and actors who used to be singers (or models or child TV stars). My end goal here is to some day have a list of the 25 absolute best Christmas movies ever, all defended with brilliant examples and screen shots.
  • I make my bed every morning and tell myself that it’s basically the same thing as having a clean house.
  • Of course I’ve been reading A LOT. I have a stack of books to share and I hope to get caught up before the year is out. I started two new reading challenges for myself – my own personalized 100 Books to Read Before You Die list (all the classics I feel I might not hate) and a list of romance authors to read before the next RT convention. More on these later. Also look for my list of the top books I’ve read this year – that’ll be showing up sometime around December 31st.
  • And now I’ve got another book to plan because why have one book project going when you can have three?

Books, A Love Affair

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I’m having a love affair with books. What we have is precious, a once in a lifetime romance. I always have more than one book going at a time in order to keep a well-rounded, healthy reading life. (P.S. my mother says that if I spend as much time and energy on exercising as I do on researching, acquiring, and reading books I’d be in great shape.)

My categories:

The romance novel. This one is partially research for my own writing but mostly a fun, tittilating read. I devour these books. I have to read them within days or else they consume my mind, making it impossible to think about anything but the book.

The non-fiction book. This is usually on my current, personal research topic. At the moment I am researching relationships, dating, and media. You would not believe the number of fascinating books on this topic that have come out in the past year.

The bed stand book. This is also a non-fiction book and, frankly, one that puts me to sleep. I find it relaxing to fall asleep to a book. Though sometimes I start to dream, wake up, and continue reading and often I can’t distinguish what was in my dream and what was in the book.

The self help book. I know. You’re thinking – what can you possibly have to improve about yourself? You’re perfect already.

The book needs to go back to the library but I’m determined to read it before the due date. This happens more often than you’d think.

There you have it. The books of my reading harem.

Things I Have Done, Am Doing, Want to Do, Etc.

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Time for a list, don’t you think?

  1. This weekend I went to Chicago to visit my sister. It was a huge wake up call for me. I’ve got to figure out how I can fit more reading time into my day.
  2. My new favorite animal is the Sand Cat. They are so cute! An dangerous predators of course. But mostly cute. I spent most our zoo time trying to figure out how get one of my own.
  3. I came home bemoaning the lack of used book stores in TC. We went to 3 used books stores within a few blocks of each other! And they were all different and bizarre and amazing.
  4. Let’s talk bonsai trees. These things are amazing. They are so tiny and adorable looking but they are actually super old, wise, and incredibly strong. If I were a tree, I’d like to think I’d be a bonsai tree. Here are some of my favorites that I saw in the Chicago Botanic Gardens this past Saturday:

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So do I want to move to Chicago where I can be amidst the used book shops, sand cats, and bonsai trees all the time? Gah, I don’t know! I’ve been doing so much adulting today I can no longer do decisions.

This Week I Read… October 10th Edition

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On this week I read, I introduce what as become an fascination of mine – dating and relationship books. One of my life goals is to become a relationship expert. Not an expert at HAVING relationships, an expert on how other people do, see?

Unknown-2Anyways, I read Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari. You’ve probably heard of this book – it’s kind of a big deal. Unlike the other celebrity books that have come out in the past few years, this one is not a memoir, cookbook, or autobiography. It is a social study of modern relationships as explored through focus groups, audience interactions during comedy shows, and interviews with psychologists, sociologists, and relationship experts. It’s informative, it presents some fascinating ideas about dating and technology, and it has that wonderful hint of Aziz humor that we know and love. A great book if you’re:

  1. single and want to get into online dating
  2. frustrated with your lack of online dating success
  3. don’t understand what the deal is with online dating and why all these people are doing it
  4. studying to become a relationship expert
  5. really into Aziz Ansari
  6. need some interesting factoids to spice up your conversations during awkward social interactions

I personally am doing a bit of 4, 5, AND 6.