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Now You Can’t Stop Thinking About It

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Happy Halloween!

Courtesy of my friend, I have this tidbit for you – How can a vampire get a boner when they don’t have any blood flow?

I’m not talking Buffy vamps here – they bleed still. But what about vamps who’s veins freeze when they die? (We all know what I’m talking about, right?) They clearly cannot get it on, given the rules of their own fantasy world.

Think about this, paranormal writers, if you want your characters to consummate their eternal love, don’t give them frozen parts. Or buy them a penis pump.

Spooky Weird Stuff

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In this edition of “There’s Some Weird Stuff Out There,” I’m getting in the Halloween spirit. Now there are a lot of directions I could go with this – you would not believe the sort of weird, spooky paranormal stuff there is out there. But instead of going zombie or ghosts or vampires, today I’m talking about shapeshifters. Not werewolves – at this point werewolves are a bit blasé, don’t you think? Without further ado I give you…

WerePanther –

Eat Prey Love by Kerrelyn Sparks

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WereTiger –

Here Kitty, Kitty by Shelly Laurenston

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WereBear –

Bear Necessities by Isadora Montrose

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WereWyr –

Dragon Bound by Thea Harrison

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WerePumas –

The Wallflower by Dana Marie Bell

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EVEN WereHoney Badger –

Bite Me by Shelly Laurenston

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And SO many more. Almost all dangerous, predatory creatures are represented. Except for sea creatures. Where are the were-sharks? The were-shark and the mermaid. Just imagine.

Books, A Love Affair

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I’m having a love affair with books. What we have is precious, a once in a lifetime romance. I always have more than one book going at a time in order to keep a well-rounded, healthy reading life. (P.S. my mother says that if I spend as much time and energy on exercising as I do on researching, acquiring, and reading books I’d be in great shape.)

My categories:

The romance novel. This one is partially research for my own writing but mostly a fun, tittilating read. I devour these books. I have to read them within days or else they consume my mind, making it impossible to think about anything but the book.

The non-fiction book. This is usually on my current, personal research topic. At the moment I am researching relationships, dating, and media. You would not believe the number of fascinating books on this topic that have come out in the past year.

The bed stand book. This is also a non-fiction book and, frankly, one that puts me to sleep. I find it relaxing to fall asleep to a book. Though sometimes I start to dream, wake up, and continue reading and often I can’t distinguish what was in my dream and what was in the book.

The self help book. I know. You’re thinking – what can you possibly have to improve about yourself? You’re perfect already.

The book needs to go back to the library but I’m determined to read it before the due date. This happens more often than you’d think.

There you have it. The books of my reading harem.

Things I Love – October Edition

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Things I Love

  1. Inside Amy Schumer. Amy, you are an empress of comedy. I literally could not forget some of your skits even if I tried.
  2. The “What Not to Write” post series by Smart Bitches Trashy Books. Cave splooge, Twinky metaphors, and calloused naughty bits. I thought I would fall out of my chair from uncontrollable laughter.
  3. Rainbow Rowell. Every time I find out about a book by her that I haven’t read I’m like “wait, WHAT?? How did I not know this existed!!!”
  4. The Michigan inter-library loan system. Even though it’s going down for a month and I have no idea where to get my fix of books that aren’t available in my local library system.
  5. Cider mills, apple orchards, pumpkin patches, pretty much anywhere they make and sell pumpkin doughnut holes. Yum.

 

Things I Have Done, Am Doing, Want to Do, Etc.

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Time for a list, don’t you think?

  1. This weekend I went to Chicago to visit my sister. It was a huge wake up call for me. I’ve got to figure out how I can fit more reading time into my day.
  2. My new favorite animal is the Sand Cat. They are so cute! An dangerous predators of course. But mostly cute. I spent most our zoo time trying to figure out how get one of my own.
  3. I came home bemoaning the lack of used book stores in TC. We went to 3 used books stores within a few blocks of each other! And they were all different and bizarre and amazing.
  4. Let’s talk bonsai trees. These things are amazing. They are so tiny and adorable looking but they are actually super old, wise, and incredibly strong. If I were a tree, I’d like to think I’d be a bonsai tree. Here are some of my favorites that I saw in the Chicago Botanic Gardens this past Saturday:

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So do I want to move to Chicago where I can be amidst the used book shops, sand cats, and bonsai trees all the time? Gah, I don’t know! I’ve been doing so much adulting today I can no longer do decisions.

This Week I Read… October 10th Edition

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On this week I read, I introduce what as become an fascination of mine – dating and relationship books. One of my life goals is to become a relationship expert. Not an expert at HAVING relationships, an expert on how other people do, see?

Unknown-2Anyways, I read Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari. You’ve probably heard of this book – it’s kind of a big deal. Unlike the other celebrity books that have come out in the past few years, this one is not a memoir, cookbook, or autobiography. It is a social study of modern relationships as explored through focus groups, audience interactions during comedy shows, and interviews with psychologists, sociologists, and relationship experts. It’s informative, it presents some fascinating ideas about dating and technology, and it has that wonderful hint of Aziz humor that we know and love. A great book if you’re:

  1. single and want to get into online dating
  2. frustrated with your lack of online dating success
  3. don’t understand what the deal is with online dating and why all these people are doing it
  4. studying to become a relationship expert
  5. really into Aziz Ansari
  6. need some interesting factoids to spice up your conversations during awkward social interactions

I personally am doing a bit of 4, 5, AND 6.

Mpregs

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In this week’s edition of There’s Some Weird Stuff Out There, I am discussing mpreg, a sub-genre of m/m romance where in one of those m’s gets pregnant. Really, if we’re going to get technical, these are m/m romance novels with an mpreg plot. But that’s not the point. The point is that people out there (and not just a few) are writing and reading books about men getting pregnant. And why not? It’s a fascinating possibility coupled with some equally fascinating descriptions and diagrams of just how, biologically, male pregnancy could be a thing.

Check it out for yourself:

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Alex’s Surprise by Chris McHart 

 

 

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Forbidden Lover by Aiden Bates – this one has a werewolf/dragon romance AND mpreg.

 

 

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Bear Back Mountain by Artemis Wolffe and Wednesday Raven – get it?

 

 

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The Degan Incident by Rob Colton 

 

 

 

And many, many more. A lot of which are sci-fi, fantasy, and paranormal/shapeshifter books. Maybe because that makes the whole mpreg more believable?

A Whirlwind of Books (Wouldn’t that be cool!)

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Since I’ve been in the process of moving the site for the past week or so, I haven’t had a chance to update you all on my latest literary conquests! So here they are:Unknown-1

Last week I read Wallbanger by Alice Clayton. If you like smut, especially funny smut, you really can’t get any better than Alice Clayton. I aspire to write smut this hilarious! Thank you, Alice Clayton for writing this book and then for writing four more in the series so I don’t have to say goodbye to your comedy genius just yet!
Of course, before I go on to read the rest of the series, I had to finish up some library books whose impending due dates and lack of renewal opportunities rushed them to the top of the list. One of thesUnknowne was You Are A Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero. It was transformative. Every time I read a passage I thought, that’s right, I am awesome, I can do this, I can be the best me I can be! Of course, as with most books, I’ve only retained about 30% of what I read. But that 30% is remarkably useful.

The section that really spoke to me was about money. I am someone who can get by on very little money. I am also someone who has lived my life up until now viewing money as the root of all evils. What Jen Sincero points out is that money isn’t an enemy or a friend, it isn’t anything really until we apply the emotional, cultural, and psychological aspects of our interactions with and surrounding it to the picture. Money is not the root of all evil. I don’t have to be afraid of making it or not making it. But I do need to accept that there is a certain amount of money that I need to  accomplish what I want (improving living situation, eating healthy, giving back, financing my writing, etc.). That amount is my goal. Not the bare minimum I can live on, not the money I’d make if I sold out my dreams, the amount I need to accomplish what I want to do. So I’m going to try out this new attitude and see what happens.

I am currently devouring Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari so look for that review coming up in a few days!

This Month I’ve Read…

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While trying to find a nearby apple orchard that also has a corn maze, I realized I haven’t posted about the Julie James series I am reading (those two things are related through a series of mental leaps I don’t expect you to follow). I have been devouring these books like pumpkin donuts all month, one right after the other, they are that good.

I met Julie James almost two years ago at the RWA Chicago-North Spring Fling conference. I got the fourth book in the series and had it signed by her. Though it took me a while to get to read it (my to-read shelf having expanded to an entire bookcase over the past year), I still remember what drew me to her books in the first place. It was the way she described the opening of book one, Something About You, in which the heroine is kept awake all night by a marathon booty call taking place in the next room – a booty call that ends in murder.

Obviously I had to read it. And the next one and the next. I’m now on the sixth and most recent book. I’m not sure what I’ll do when I finish it except hope that there’ll be another released soon!

Check out Julie’s books for yourself by following the link here!

Something About You by Julie JamesA Lot Like Love by Julie JamesAbout That Night by Julie JamesLove Irresistibly by Julie JamesIt Happened One Wedding by Julie JamesSuddenly One Summer by Julie James

There’s Some Weird Stuff Out There

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This is the beginning of another blog post series I’m embarking on. In this series I will fill you in on some of the strange and unusual sub-genres that exist within romance. You don’t have to be a romance reader to know the basic ones – contemporary, historical, chick lit, erotica, etc. Those aren’t what I’m talking about. I’m not even talking about the cross genres, YA paranormal romance for example, or stand alone books that don’t fit into any category. I’m talking about sub-genres that have multiple books within them, as in more than one author thought it was a good idea to write this type of romance novel.

The first category I’ll be exploring is one that, if you know me at all IRL, you’ll have heard me talk about because I cannot get over that fact that this is a thing: Dinosaur Erotica. As in books that feature a human-dinosaur relationship.

Let that sink in for a moment. Human-dinosaur romantic/sexual relationship.

Here are some of the books in this sub-genre:

Taken by the T-Rex by Christie Sims (she is actually dinosaur erotica’s most prolific author and has a whole range of books about a whole range of dinos)

Space Raptor Butt Invasion by Chuck Tingle (a series of dino/man erotica set in locations from outer space to a corporate boardroom)

Seized by the T-Rex by Roxy Stone (a dino horror erotica)

A Billionaire Dinosaur Forced Me Gay by Hunter Fox (the second book is set in space)

Jurassic Jane Eyre by Carrie Sessarego (this is exactly what you think it is, Jane Eyre travels back in time to the Jurassic period)

And many, many more. Most with ridiculous, overt, pun-filled titles. I can’t say I’d recommend any of these books but they do serve as a fun tidbit to share at parties when the conversation lulls.

I do have to give a special shout-out of to Smart Bitches Trashy Books for first introducing me to dinosaur erotica. My life has never been the same.